


Ashes

by anotherFMAfan



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 03:45:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10631496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anotherFMAfan/pseuds/anotherFMAfan
Summary: "There had never been any hope for them."RoyxEd. Warning for angst, language; marked underage to be safe, but relationship is unconsummated. Het is only briefly mentioned (female character not specified).Written around 2009, first posted 2013.





	

Roy balled his hands into fists, stomach clenching with anxiety, cursing himself and his foolish sentimental habits. How had the letter survived? He had burned them to ashes, every single one of them, he’d been certain. He’d been so _sure_ ….

He could see the color drain from Ed’s face as his eyes flicked over the words on the page, and then rush back to his cheeks with a vengeance. Roy’s heart thumped wildly in his chest as Edward’s eyes found his, wide with dawning realization.

“You…me….?”

“Edward,” he began, though in truth he had no idea what he might have said.

Ed muttered the date on the paper to himself under his breath, his long hair falling into his eyes as he stared at the paper, and then looked back to Roy, searching his face desperately as emotions chased their way across his face.

“You never…? Not even when I told you that I….?

“Listen, Ed—”

“Why…why didn’t you say something?! _Why_ didn’t you TELL me?!” he demanded suddenly, viciously, the slow build of realization over and the raw bite of emotion in his voice.

“‘Why didn’t I tell you?!’” Mustang repeated in disbelief. “Edward, you were _fifteen_! Do you have any idea how disgusted I was with myself? Do you have _any idea_ how much I _hated_ myself? You were fifteen!”

“What the fuck does that matter?!” he shrieked, chest heaving. “You should have said something! Think of what he could have _had_!” He held up the crumpled letter and smacked it back down on the face of the desk.

“What? What could we have had?! We were both enlisted and I was your _superior officer_!” Roy shouted back, thumping himself hard in the chest. “I was _twice your age_ for gods’ sake! What could we possibly have had besides secrets and lies? Every day risking getting locked away ‘til I _rotted_ to death? Every jury in Amestris would have convicted me in the blink of an eye, Ed!”

“As though we didn’t have other secrets?! As though we weren’t lying through our teeth about every other damn thing? As though we BOTH weren’t at risk of being arrested, of being _killed_ every _single_ fucking day? You should have told me!”

Roy let out a scoff, his lip curling in distaste at the thought.

“And done what, reveled in my pederasty until you met someone your own age?”

“I STILL LOVE YOU!” Edward screamed, voice unrestrained, but struggling to keep his breathing even and his blazing eyes dry. “Don’t you dare say that to me, you bastard, _I still love you_ , and I stood at that altar and _lied_ to my wife and my brother, I’ve been living like this for seven fucking _years_ because you didn’t tell me!”

He gasped in a huge breath, and all at once seemed to deflate; he sagged back against the wall and slid down slowly to sit on the floor, eyes staring sightlessly in front of him. “Why didn't you? _Why_ …?”

Roy tried to swallow in his dry throat, regret bubbling up like acid despite himself. He hadn’t had a choice. In their circumstances, there was nothing he could have done. There had never been any hope for them.

“It could have been good…we could have been happy,” Edward mourned hollowly, fisting his hands in his hair.

Roy struggled with words, opened his mouth to somehow try to convey— to make him understand, but nothing came out. Nothing except a single, strangled phrase, breaking the awful silence that had fallen.

“You were fifteen.”


End file.
